Align with your inner self

Updated: May 2, 2020

Why do you think the way you do? Why do you dress the way you do? Why are you scared of certain things?

There's a dozen of those types of questions, ultimately these questions reveal the real you. The you that's inside that body and dictates every thought, action or choice you make. As of now, your answer on those questions will be made up by a few different factors, one of those factors is the people you 'hang' or 'chill' with.

There's a famous saying 'you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with', which is 110% true. If your 5 friends are successful entrepreneurs, you're very likely going to be the 6th one. On the controversy, if your 5 best friends are losers, you're very likely to become the 6th loser.

So how does it come that we really want to change but we can't? I'm sure many have experienced this feeling before. This is because society taught us that if we change, we're not being true to ourselves, even our friends or family will have a dig at us and say 'you've changed' in a painful tone. They do this because they feel that they're losing grip of you, they no longer 'control' your life, while you're changing and growing while they're consolidating.

Essentially, something must change in order to grow, old habits won't open new doors.

Knowing your inner self comes from being self-aware.

For me personally, I faced this a few years ago.

A few years ago I partied a lot. Every weekend I would go to a nightclub to spend a lot of money on bottles. Many drunk or 'lit' nights led to regrets as I saw my bankaccount balance decrease.

One day I had enough of it, no more alcohol, no more parties, no more reckless spending on bottles. So I told my friends I won't be going out anymore, ever since then they never spoke a word to me, while I thought these were my 'ride or die' friends.

8 months passed by and I haven't attended a party, I've been reading books, improving my knowledge about forex trading, listening to podcasts and I've written down some ideas and feelings i encountered during the journey. This is when I got introduced to people who changed my life forever and realised I NEEDED TO GROW THOUGH WHAT I GO THROUGH.

So you might be wondering how I changed my perspective so quickly, this has to do with the questions i mentioned in the beginning of this article.

When you get introduced to someone new and want to know them better, what will you do?

You'll start a conversation and ask questions. So if you want to know who you are, what your intentions are, how you truly feel, ... you should start with having a conversation with yourself!

A conversation with ... myself ?!

I know this sounds very weird but this is the easiest way to get to know yourself. It allows us to broaden the way we think and stops narrow thinking. Proper questioning is definitely the basis for direct change towards our immediate growth. Make sure to ask questions that are a real benefit to you.

Don't ask questions that will result in the same feelings as you have now, they create the same experiences as your past. Sat away from such questions.

Now, I don't want you to stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself some personal questions. Instead I want you to do this in a dark room with no noise (cars, people,...) so you're fully focused.

So you are in the room, it's dark and there's minimal noise. Now I want you to feel relaxed, for example: you could lay in your bed and make yourself comfortable. Once you achieve the relaxed feeling you can close your eyes, make sure you are focused and don't think about other things. Now you can start the conversation with yourself, ask deep questions that you NEED to know, questions that you WANT to know. Try having a 5-15min conversation with yourself.

Examples of questions:

  1. Who am I?

  2. Am I a Loving person?

  3. Am I respectful?

  4. Am I an honest person?

  5. Am I grateful?


After asking those questions, did your mind automatically begin to remind you of times that you weren't that person? If that's the case it's because your mind is still conditioned to looking at experiences, and especially yourself.

Run through the questions again and ask this in addition: When was the time that I did display this quality?

''An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering'' - Katie Byron

Great! You've questioned yourself and got some answers from the person within you, your inner self. If you don't think you are that person, ask yourself 'How can I be?' and you'll be flooded with ideas instantly. Further to that, if you don't want to be that person, then unfortunately this could be the reason you are unfulfilled or feel a void within you.

Essentially, the challenge from this exercise isn't knowing who we are as a person, it's having the courage to become the person you want to be.

Let's try this exercise again, but different.

  1. Take 5 minutes to reflect on those 'AM I' questions. Write them down and make sure you understand them. DON'T GO TO THE NEXT STEP UNTILL YOU'VE COMPLETED THIS.

  2. Now swap the 'AM I' with ' I AM', it should now read as ' I Am .......'

  3. New take another 5 minutes to reflect on the new list that you've written, close your eyes and repeat them in your mind or out loud. Make sure you're fully focused while doing this. It's usually by being insecure of who you are that creates confusion when it's time to make a decision. By doing this exercise you'll create clarity.

We changed our questions to affirmations, meaning we're speaking this into existence.

By reaffirming those statements you align yourself with who you really are. It's a very important key to finding happiness or success on any level.

If completed correctly, this exercise was invigorating and fulfilling.

Try repeating those statements each morning directly after waking up, this way you'll feed your subconscious mind with affirmations.

''Each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible'' - Viktor Frankl

I really hope you enjoyed reading this and learned about mental health / law of attraction.

Let me know in the comments how you experienced this exercise!

Source: Who Says You Can't? You Do (book)

I will be posting more articles about The law of attraction, meditation,...

See you soon.

Kind regards,